Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"Wiimote-ly" Amusing

I finally got my hands on a Wii a few days ago! [snickers & giggles from the back]

Since the Wii has been sold out for months, there was only one way to get one, I had to buy one of those bundle packs that come with two games, an extra remote, etc... but it was definitely worth it.

I've never had as much fun with any other game than I've had with my Wii [more snickering]. Creating eerie little versions of myself, my friends & family on the Mii Channel... nearly drowning in my own sweat playing Wii Sports... complete & utter randomness in Wario Ware... wacky minigames involving the torment, torture & maiming of creepy looking bunnies in Rayman: Raving Rabbids... downloading & playing some classic games from childhood off of the Virtual Console channel... sweet lord almighty, we have a winner!

After screwing around with the Wii for a while [snickers ahoy], I wondered... How the hell could someone lose their grip on one of these remotes & have it fly through televisions, break ceiling fans & injuring innocent bystanders? Each step through the pre-game process constantly warns you to have the strap around your wrist at all times & to grip the remote firmly. That was what went through my mind as I drew the cartoon above.

I realized that a majority of these people must either be clumsy, ignorant, stubborn, completely illiterate, lacking common sense or just plain stupid. Some might be in more than one category. Heck, plenty of these people probably would answer "all of the above". Coincidentally, nearly all the cases of Wiimote accidents that I've heard of have taken place somewhere in the grand ol' US of A. I'd like to call these people "Wii-brains". There is now even a website called "Wii Have A Problem", that has logged in every reported Wii-related accident they could find. Here's the damage report so far, as listed on their site:

45 Broken Straps
41 People
21 Broken Controllers
19 Lamps
11 Walls
9 Wii Hacks & Mods
9 Ceiling Fans
8 Dishes
7 Wiis
6 Pets
5 TV Stands and Furniture
5 Windows
3 Laptops
2 PDA's, Phones, Cameras
2 Pictures
2 Protection Devices
1 Jewelry
1 Remote Sleeves
1 Fireplaces
1 Stereos

Can you believe that?! Since September of last year, there have been nearly 225 reported cases of Wiimotes breaking TVs, frying Wii's & injuring people & animals alike. & those are only ones that have been REPORTED! Who knows how many "Wii-brained Ninten-D'OHs" are out there maiming Fluffy with a supersonic remote control from hell!

We'll, I'll make sure to grip firmly & move delicately when I'm playing with my Wii all summer long [yellow puddle forming].

'Til next time!


Anonymous said...

Hey Mike,
My friend has a wii but I don't and that's probably beneficial for both me and the rest of society. Whenever I use the wiimote my limbs flail wildly into the air in all directions. I have nearly broken my friends ceiling fan on more than one occasion. But I'm not really into video games and don't even own a system myself.
On an un related topic I saw something that might interest you. Here it is I got it from a Simpsons forum. The guy who posted this is legitamately involved with Bongo comics and they're hiring. The forum itself isn't such a fun place. It's mostly filled with neurotic pessimistic people who constantly bad mouth the show (but they're huge fans, or so they say). Oh also did my e-mail with all of the Life in Hell comics I sent you work all right?

Your Fan,
David Spector

Michael J. Ruocco said...

Hey Dave!

It's alright, everybody plays differently. Thw Wii is the closest thing to exercise that I'll actually sweat for. My friend broke his hand hitting a celing fan that was on high speed.

For a while, I stepped away from video games to focus on school & college, but now that summer is here I slowly came back to it. I never was really a "gamer", just someone who occasionally joins in on the fun. The only games I really master at are Mario Kat: DD & Super Smash Bros. Melee, but other than that I fail at video games.

I heard that Bongo was hiring, but I didn't absorb the news too much. It would be cool to work for Bongo, maybe someday.

As a matter of fact, I DID get the Life in Hells you sent. Thanks again!

OmegaEye said...

"I realized that a majority of these people must either be clumsy, ignorant, stubborn, completely illiterate, lacking common sense or just plain stupid. Some might be in more than one category. Heck, plenty of these people probably would answer 'all of the above'."

Man, that's got to be the truest statement ever. I've had no accidents with my Wii. My sister, who is 6, did however let go of the remote once but there wasn't enough power on her throw to break anything not even the remote itself. I mean there's really no need to use so much force when playing. The only time so much force is needed is when you really mean to lose weight by playing the Wii and if you're going to do that then take the precaution of strapping the remote to your hand (if you can't do that simple thing then you shouldn't even be thinking of exercising using the Wii if you're that lazy).

Well I hope that no accidents come to you. And have fun with your
Wii. College is just around the corner.

Michael J. Ruocco said...

Hey OmegaEye, long time no see!

I really don't use that much force when I swing the remote. The only game I know of where I swing a little harder than usual is Boxing in Wii Sports, & that's only because that game probably has one of the most frustrating contols. I'd guess the cause of all these accidents IS frustration, because most of the people who fall into those catergories you quoted ARE frustrated people. Poor souls...

After some research, I discovered that some companies have actually made "accident-proof" products for the Wii, including "no-slip Wii gloves" & plastic shields to cover your TV screen.

People do have accidents, but some have 'em more than others.

Denise said...

Hey Mike,
Hahaha, clever entry! I've had a wii for months not, and soon enough, it'll be a year. I've never had the wiimote leave my hand accidentally. When you're playing Wii Sports, I must admit that it is easy to get into it, so I can understand why people occasionally have accidents. Although I do have to say that if you have enough force on that wiimote to break a wall, you really have to bring it down a notch. I rarely ever use the strap now. Its pretty ironic, because the one time I did use the strap, I almost had the remote swing into my table! I actually almost had an accident with the strap on! Boxing and Baseball are the easiest sports to find yourself very involved, but to a certain extent. Playing Wii Sports on the Block Party will be fun, just don't put a hole in my wall, or accidentally hit my dog with it. Hahahaha, just kiddin'.

Michael J. Ruocco said...


Your right, you can get into a game a little too much! But when you get to that point, you should put the remote down, grab a MR. Pibb outta the fridge & take a break.

It'll be loads of fun at your block party! & don't worry, I won't harm your dog (unless I have to).