I finally got my hands on a Wii a few days ago! [snickers & giggles from the back]
Since the Wii has been sold out for months, there was only one way to get one, I had to buy one of those bundle packs that come with two games, an extra remote, etc... but it was definitely worth it.
I've never had as much fun with any other game than I've had with my Wii [more snickering]. Creating eerie little versions of myself, my friends & family on the Mii Channel... nearly drowning in my own sweat playing Wii Sports... complete & utter randomness in Wario Ware... wacky minigames involving the torment, torture & maiming of creepy looking bunnies in Rayman: Raving Rabbids... downloading & playing some classic games from childhood off of the Virtual Console channel... sweet lord almighty, we have a winner!
After screwing around with the Wii for a while [snickers ahoy], I wondered... How the hell could someone lose their grip on one of these remotes & have it fly through televisions, break ceiling fans & injuring innocent bystanders? Each step through the pre-game process constantly warns you to have the strap around your wrist at all times & to grip the remote firmly. That was what went through my mind as I drew the cartoon above.
I realized that a majority of these people must either be clumsy, ignorant, stubborn, completely illiterate, lacking common sense or just plain stupid. Some might be in more than one category. Heck, plenty of these people probably would answer "all of the above". Coincidentally, nearly all the cases of Wiimote accidents that I've heard of have taken place somewhere in the grand ol' US of A. I'd like to call these people "Wii-brains". There is now even a website called "Wii Have A Problem", that has logged in every reported Wii-related accident they could find. Here's the damage report so far, as listed on their site:
45 Broken Straps
21 Broken Controllers
9 Wii Hacks & Mods
9 Ceiling Fans
5 TV Stands and Furniture
2 PDA's, Phones, Cameras
2 Protection Devices
1 Remote Sleeves
Can you believe that?! Since September of last year, there have been nearly 225 reported cases of Wiimotes breaking TVs, frying Wii's & injuring people & animals alike. & those are only ones that have been REPORTED! Who knows how many "Wii-brained Ninten-D'OHs" are out there maiming Fluffy with a supersonic remote control from hell!
We'll, I'll make sure to grip firmly & move delicately when I'm playing with my Wii all summer long [yellow puddle forming].
'Til next time!