Friday, June 22, 2007

Prom Night '07

Last night was my Senior Prom, the last big hurrah before graduation. Boy, was it a grueling experience for me.

As you can see in the overly smug expression on my face, I'm not used to this kind of thing (nor do I clean up well). I'm not a very outgoing guy. I like things simple & uncomplicated. I'd rather be on "Skid Row" than "Snob Hill", & the prom is definitely snob territory.

I originally didn't want to go. Limos, tuxedos & corsages cost lots of money, which I'd rather be saving than spending on useless endeavors like these. But my friends wanted me to come, so I consented (sans date).

These young chaps & chapettes seem to be having a swell time already...

...even under cramped conditions such as these.

Of course, like all fancy-schmancy, rent-a-hall parties, there was food, music & dancing. Lots of it.

The music was basically all hip-hop, rap & techno rap. George Carlin doesn't even curse as much as these songs. Everybody had sore throats by the end of the night because the music was so loud you had to scream to the person next to you.

Speaking of sore things, my dogs are still killing me (damn you, Cotton-Eyed Joe!). I barely danced for ten minutes & I was hurting in my rented shoes. I felt bad for all the girls in high heels.

But we danced, nonetheless. Most of the kids (mostly the girls) were on the dance floor...

...while a select few were waiting for the perfect time to cut in.

Bobby here seems to be enjoying the party.

We ate, danced & sat from 7 to 11:30, then we all jumped in our limo & split.

Since the prom was announced, we still couldn't find the right place to go afterwards. Southstreet Seaport was closed off... the Nautical Mile in Freeport is like a ghosttown by this hour... we were all too tired to dance at a club... everything seemed to be out of our reach.

So at the last minute (literally when we left the prom), we decided to head over to the one place that never stops for a breather...

...Times Square! Boy was THAT a mistake!

By that hour, most stores, restaurants & bars were long shut down for the night (besides a few McDonalds, Starbucks' & nudey bars). Since McDonalds is nasty & the nudey bars were off limits, we went to a Starbucks. The girls got their frothy, caffeinated drinks & we were on the move again.

After about 20 minutes, we were all pretty much freaked out by all the freaks, drunks & amateur rappers, so we hastilly called our limo driver & took off back towards home.

At this point we were all at wit's end. We had no destination, no energy & absolutely no fun whatsoever. So we decided to go have breakfast at 2 in the morning.

We drove back to our neck of the woods & after finding most of our local diners closed, we finally caught an all-nighter. It was a filthy, disgusting establishment, but it was a diner.

We ordered our grub & chowed down. I asked for silver dollar pancakes, but I got a short stack. I ordered a drink, & the mug wasn't clean. I barely ate, paid the tab & got back home just in time to meet our limo-rent time.

By the time I dragged myself into bed it was 4 a.m. I'm totally drunk with exhaustion & every part of my body has some sort of ache. & the worst part of it was that we all had to wake up early for graduation rehersal. Poor ol' me. I barely have the strength to post here.

So in conclusion I just wanna say that I'm totally fi- (slumps onto keyboard, snores...)


John S. said...

Dude, cartoonists are supposed to be socially retarded rejects that never talkk to anyone and can't get a date to the prom. You are ruining the stereotype!!!
Congrats on graduation!!

Michael J. Ruocco said...

Thanks John!

Actually, I had no date. I was gonna ask somebody special, but I realized that I would probably be a horrible date, so I chickened out.

I may regret it... I might not.